Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
