and you said cock pushups were impossible
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
