She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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