1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
