I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
someone owes me an orgasm
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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