just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
