did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
