Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
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