Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
we should paint friendship bongs
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