That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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