Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
