Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
