im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
