He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize