Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
