This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize