i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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