Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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