sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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