how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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