I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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