The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
