I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
