i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
