Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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