Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
