I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
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