Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
