OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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