she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
