its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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