well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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