WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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