Christians are straight up FREAKS
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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