You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
