Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
