flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize