I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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