He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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