that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
