Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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