I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
