If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
