David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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