I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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