I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
