Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
