I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
