is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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