Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
