You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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