I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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