We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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