Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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