I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Farmville is her only friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
