Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
