Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
