That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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