Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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