Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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