come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
