Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
